I am pretty fast and loose with the word "love". I am aware of this. I am not one of those people who uses the word with some kind of reverence. It's not some great mystery of the universe. You either love or you don't love. Pretty simple.
I have been blindsided by my feelings for my Bulldogge. For real. It's sick! I feel like I am 16 and finding out what the wild world of adult feelings are like for the first time. I'm happy and smile all the damn time. What's with that?? I am losing my snarky edge and showing my soft furry underbelly. It doesn't even bother me. Odd.
I'm not holding anything back from this man. There is not even a moment's hesitation if I want to tell him something deeply personal. I WANT him to know all that stuff. And in a weird twist of fate, our freak flags match!!
So yes, boys, girls, lovers, haters, and pelicans: the Fat Girl has found a winner! A guy who is tough, smart, funny, fucking sexy, and loving all rolled into one! I trust him with all my heart. I dream about holding Irish Bulldogge's hand next to a fire when we are little old people. Sappy and sick for me, I am aware, but true.
What will I write about now that I have found a slice of happiness? How will it feel to not feel confused and unlovable? Will my insecurities ruin it all? Am I going to be one of those irritatingly happy people on Facebook forever?
Okay, so life still isn't perfect. But it feels outstanding, even with a raging fever and chills tonight. Good God, why did it take me so long to hit on IB on Facebook??
No comments:
Post a Comment