Cast of Characters

What a lot of people don't know is that I take quite a bit of heat over my blog. I get text messages, emails, Facebook messages, you name it. I have in the past chosen to respond on occasion to my lovers and haters when I feel it was needed, and tonight happens to be one of those nights.

Yesterday's hate mail included the following, "You need to grow up and drop the code names and nicknames. On your blog you say you are a woman in your 30s going through your 20s but that is only because you refuse to grow up."

I want to respond in a mature way to this, but seeing as how I don't know how to do that, according to this disgruntled reader, I will explain it the best way I know how. I say that I am going through my 20's in my 30's because I feel like I went straight from high school to being 35 or 40. I have always been someone's mother or someone's wife and never got to take the time to figure out who I am. Now I have the opportunity to do those things for myself that so many people take for granted.

On the subject of code names and nicknames: I do it NOT to spare anyone's feelings. Everyone knows who everyone else is. And if a person does find themselves in my blog and doesn't know who anyone else is or what the current nature of my relationship is with them, they generally ask. I think I do it so that if a person (think potential dates or employers) were to Goggle someone mentioned in my blog their name, dating antics, my emotions, and whether or not I think they fall into the pelican category remains out of it.

As a one time only special, here is a breakdown of the most written about people in my blog:

The Tiger. He is my father and his real name is Bob. He is wonderful and I love him.

Son. He is my son and his real name is Brian. We struggle a lot with our relationship, but overall it is good.

BMD. She is Brian's girlfriend and her real name is Dinah. BMD stands for "Beautiful Miss Dinah" because she is one of the most beautiful women I have ever seen

Fuzzy Face. We all have come to love him and hate him. He is what he is and his real name is Mitch. Our relationship is confusing at best. However, it is healthy and very honest. Too honest sometimes. If I needed to bury a body or drunken sweaty meaningless sex he is the FIRST person I would call.

The Right Wing King. He is my ex-husband and Brian's father. His name is Eric and he will be a part of my life for the rest of my life. We remain friends somewhat and aren't trying to kill each other anymore.

Hot Wheels. Does everyone remember him? His name is Todd and I had what basically amounted to an emotional affair with him. He is fan-freaking-tastic and I have lost touch with him. Bad choice on my part, I miss him sometimes.

Wolverine. I dated him for a few weeks and his name is Josh. However he and I talked via text for months before going out on an actual date. The pelicans had a field day with him and it ended somewhat badly.

Irish Bulldogge. We have had the official first date and his name is Todd (not to be confused with the Hot Wheels Todd). He, unlike everyone else, figured out right away who he was when he made his first appearance the other day (LOVE IT!!). When he texts he sounds like a caveman and I find him wildly charming. Rock solid.

The Pelicans. The term has come to represent in my mind at least, those who want to detract from what I have going on in my life. Well, maybe not detract. More like offer opinions when I don't want to hear them. They are usually right and that is why I have such disdain for them.

Enjoy seeing everyone's names this one time, because I am sticking with my code name/nickname system. I find it way more fun to use. They offer insight into people's true identities and personalities I think.

And that is why I am The Fat Girl. Its about so much more than my weight. Its about my insecurities and secrets. Its who hides the real me with all those layers of bigness. Its how I protect myself even now, from the rest of my life.