In reality, I would like to stab my ex-husband, The Right Wing King, on most days of the week. Now that my head is clearer I have realized how messed up our relationship really was. I was controlled and maniplated in ways that I never even noticed. I accepted it because I was soundly convinced that he was the best I could get, he was treating me in the way that I deserved, and I agreed to marry him so I had to live with the choices I had made and live up to the promises I vowed.
It turns out that not everyone who takes those sacred vows takes them as seriously as they should. Marriage vows sound so simple, but as most people know, simple things are the hardest to achieve. I think that those simple pledges are important because it leads to true and unconditional love if one follows them.I know that this is not just an issue isolated to the ex and myself. He isn't the only person to not understand all that marriage entails, but it could have been so much more.
So today, when The Right Wing King entered MY house barking orders at my son and me, I had to, in no uncertain terms, inform him that he is no longer entitled to handle us that way. Yes, my son is almost a man in his own right, but it is not okay to enter our peaceful, quiet home and treat us as his things. I said, solidly and firmly, "This is my house, and you are not allowed to come in making demands that are no longer your right and privilage." The look on his face was priceless! It was an odd contortion of rage, confusion, and hurt. It floors me the impact my words had on him. The King was quick to correct his course and simply asked for what he needed.
This is a big achievement for me; this asserting myself in a powerful, positive way. For an instant I wondered if our marriage could have been saved if I had done this sooner. Sadly, I came to the realization that our marriage would never have made it. It was built on too shaky a foundation. A house of cards built where there are earthquakes and floods won't stand the test of time.
No comments:
Post a Comment