So what I wanted has finally come to pass. Last night I heard the sweetest question asked to me several times over, "Do you want to be my girl Babys?" To which I quietly replied, "yes I do, very much". In my mind I was hollering, "Hell yes! I love you!". I almost wept with joy. Also, I wanted to jump up and down like I had just won the lottery.
This man, my sweet Fuzzy Face, is so far removed from anything I have ever known. I have up until now lived in a world darkened by fear and mistrust. I am almost afraid to relax. He wants me to feel secure and cared for. His teasing isn't malicious. He cooks for me and brings me coffee. We truly laugh together. It feels like it has been forever since I have laughed with abandon. I forgot how nice it is to have companionship.
I am not going to lie. My insecurity has already reared it's ugly head. But really, my fear has nothing to do with FF. Its just all of my programming fighting with reality. I deserve to be happy. I want to be in love with this man and his children. There is no one here to say that I am stupid and can't be trusted to make this choice on my own. But knowing that doesn't always quiet the voices that I have heard my whole life.
Oh, trust me, my Fuzzy Face is quality. There is no doubt about that. I look at him and know that with him I will be safe, defended, cherished, and taken care of. And you know what? I know that. ME....Karin Kay Biskey...no one gets to say any different. I am trusting my gut on this one.
I love this man. I really do. And I am happy that he picked me. Now, I just have to trust myself to know that I am worthy of his love in return.
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