Sucks to be Me Apparently

I have a good life. I am satisfied with myself, my family, and my situation. It is a good life that I lead and I am happy for it.

It has been said in the not too distant past that I am "a fucking nut job, u crazy crazy bitch. Life doesn't work out for everyone, u were not delt (sp) even a decent hand. Sucks for you.". Wow. Huh, that was kinda harsh. I feel that while I may have been dealt a not so great hand I have tried to do great things with it. I have heard this kind of garbage thrown at me in one form or another my entire life. Quite frankly, I have learned that it's a lie. I am no worse off than a lot of people out there who have more to deal with.

This person also went on to say about my blog: "You are a confused and scared person. That is the nice thing about the Internet crazy ass people can post 1 sided stories and try to look normal". That's the rub though! I don't try for one second to appear normal! I am broken in a lot of places. I am bruised and hurt and confused. I make no illusions otherwise. I am merely seeking a place in this world just like everyone else. Just because I write about what a lot of people won't say doesn't mean that there is something wrong with me. Or anything extra wrong with me.

All this was in retaliation for what I said about Fuzzy Face in my last blog. It seems to me that I am in general very kind in what I say about him. I care for him very much and consider him one of my friends. If something was going wrong in my life I would certainly turn to him. We just didn't work out as a couple. Sometimes when a woman finds out stuff after the fact she can get a little or a lot angry. If you take a second to weigh out the great things that I say about Fuzzy Face versus the one time I was negative...my love for him prevails. It does.

Let me go on to say this: my Wolverine is no consolation prize. He is worth all the work of being with him. We have our difficulties but they are working themselves out slowly. If he isn't "the guy" then so what? I am crushing on him right now and that's what matters to me. He has strong potential to be "the guy". I am on the cusp of actually being in love with this man. Not lust with a little like mixed in. Honest to God love. It scares the shit outta me. I didn't think I would be here ever in my life. I am lucky to have the Wolverine and he is lucky to have me. And what's even better is that we both know it.

So while I may be scared I'm getting on with my life anyway. While for a great deal of time I was confused, I'm not any more. Time has been a great healer in my life. I have realized a lot of things in a short amount of time. Maybe I am a crazy bitch who got dealt a bad hand. The Tiger always told me that you can win at poker no matter what you're handed.