F You Valentine's Day

I am by no means a man hater or a romance hater or a relationship disser or angry about being single on Valentine's day. But this year Valentine's day can suck a lemon. For real.

I am dating the Wolverine, as I have said. He is a great guy who treats me really well. We have a lot of fun together the few times I have seen him and he's a romantic at heart. I am open and willing to deal with his particular bag of life experiences. I realize that today was Wolverine's first Valentine's day in his new situation and him wanting to see me was a pretty bad idea. He needs space still for what is going on in his heart and his head. I had agreed however and got hurt when he freaked out. I don't really understand why I got hurt by it when I knew it was a bad idea for us to have plans.

I may have had a hand in pushing him towards his meltdown. I basically did a direct comparison between Wolverine and Fuzzy Face. I can see how that would hurt someone who's nerves were already rubbed raw. But they are so dramatically different. One part of me wants to comfort the Wolverine and tell him that I didn't mean it and I was delirious from working overnights. Then there is the other part of me that wants to be really straight forward and tell him to get over it, they are two different men that I care for for very different reasons and I have had vastly different experiences with each.

On the subject of Fuzzy Face, I miss him somedays, I can't lie. I miss the girls too. Blah...what a sap I am. I wish I hadn't been my insane self with him. Why couldn't I have taken 10 minutes for myself and gotten my shit together before diving head first into that? I texted with him briefly today about the last of my things. I hadn't actually planned on dealing with that until after my move. We shall see what happens there.

I got a cute text from The Great White Buffalo as well. We got caught up on the last few weeks worth of news. I declined the benefits part of our friendship. It turns out that it takes more than phenomenal lovin' to make me feel content. I can't believe that I just said that!! But I have found myself doing that with increasing frequency now. The poor guy has to be confused. But I want the brass ring this time. I am going to have all or nothing.

Even The Right Wing King sent me a message today! Granted, it was a dirty joke about Whitney Houston, but still...

Oh! And I almost got arrested over a parking ticket from 2 years ago at Christmas! Awesome. I am so glad to see that the Blaine Police Department has nothing better to do than run in women for parking in handicap parking spots!

So, like I said, F¥(# You Valentine's day. I am glad you are over. It wasn't a drama filled day, I'm just over it.