Meet Wally. He is the visual representation of my chronic pain. Did you know that the meaning of the word "walrus" in Eskimo is "tooth walker"? Walruses pull themselves out of the water with their tusks, hence the name...As anyone with a chronic pain condition will tell you, there are days when you literally feel like you are dragging yourself around by your teeth.
There is that all too familiar burn in your muscle fibers almost constantly. The lightning shooting through your limbs unexpectedly. The slow wearing down of your mental and physical reserves as you pull, push, and force yourself through all the tasks in your life. Your body is refusing to do what you ask it to, and what it COULD do mere months ago. That dull ache is waiting to greet you in the morning and looks forward to following you around all day.
I think this is why I invented Wally. I guess I think that if I can put the pain outside myself and give it its own personality, it no longer defines me. Then the aches, pains, shocks, throbbing, burning aren't a part of me. It's Wally. He hurts from dragging himself around by his teeth, for God's sake! My friends will tell you that he even has his own voice. Think of an old gramma that has smoked 2 packs a day for 45 years with a Fargo accent. It is gavelly and low, and he tends to sound like he is running out of breath.
Maybe I have finally dropped my basket. My way of compartmentalizing this condition...or well, all of my conditions...may be totally unhealthy. I may not be facing the reality of my situation. But in actuality, who wants to think about a life of aches and pains along with COUNTLESS medications to keep you mildly sane through it all? Not me, that's for sure. I want to be able to enjoy my life. Even if I have to share it with a walrus.
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