What's funny is that I thought I was okay and settled with the fact that I can't biologically have any more children. And then I found a man that compliments my life and adds to the new found happiness and freedom I have. Now I'm being greedy and want it ALL! Even if that includes having to find a way to buy child.
Isn't it awful that there are so many roadblocks for people like the Bulldogge and I? Did you know that China has a rule that neither parent can have a BMI higher than 40? The poor Bulldogge would be over a 40 BMI even if he had spent a month in a concentration camp. His BONES have higher than a 40 BMI!! Surrogacy costs well in excess of my annual income. And now most countries have closed their programs to Americans...Even the one we had banked on using, the Marshall Islands.
Our one ace in the hole I feel is that I am a strong Native woman. That qualifies us for a Native adoption. I know this because it was something I had investigated the first time I was married. (Oddly The Right Wing King felt his family wouldn't accept a baby of another race...hmmm...what about the wife and child you already have, fool?) Bulldogge would love a Native baby. He's already said so. He doesn't care, as long as there is always action in our home.
It may take a change of heart for ME. Maybe it is in my future to save and help older kids. Bulldogge and I could bring in any child and be happy. I once went to him and presented my fears that were leftover from my former relationship...you know, race, special needs, etc...he looked at me like I was from another planet and said, "Um, you're part Native and I'm deaf, why would I POSSIBLY have a problem with those things?!?" Damn I love that man.
Who knows where all of this is going to go? We're not even married yet. But when you find what you want forever, you just want it to start NOW.
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